Time Along With God

Topic 3 – Time alone with God

It wasn’t until I got to the second year of my A-levels that I realized just how important taking time out to be with God and work on that relationship was. I was in the midst of 5 hour revision session 7 days a week only stopping to eat and occasionally leave the house for air, but whilst most of my time was spent buried in revision books, I only felt like I was sinking deeper into the whole I was digging. I knew I was learning the information but I still felt like I hadn’t done enough at the end of each day and quite frankly like I wasn’t good enough… So one afternoon I went for a walk with the pastor of my church at the time and he reminded me about how the relationship we have with God is like any other relationship. You can’t expect to have a best friend of years, completely ignore them and their attempts to reach out and contact you for six weeks and then come back expecting things to be exactly as they were. It works the same with God… If we go about our own lives ignoring Him and not making time for Him then it’s only natural that we are going to drift away and begin to feel distant. I began to understand why nothing felt enough, because that relationship was the only thing giving me purpose. I was never sure I even wanted to go to Uni, but I applied because I felt it was where God was sending me. I certainly didn’t expect to get into Oxford, but I did because once and only once I started to make time in that crazy schedule just to sit and be with God, I found the strength, patience and the confidence to get the grades I needed.

This was a lesson I needed to learn and one that has served me well at Uni. Don’t get me wrong, I really struggled in my first term with much the same issues, again allowing my work and commitments to block out any time for God in my day to day life, but I soon reminded myself of the importance of working on that relationship and remaining connected. And you know the best part is, even when we drift away God never gives up and never moves in the opposite direction, but instead tries to pull us back in and receives us with open arms when we return home. Sure, it takes time and effort to build up and maintain that relationship, but no time or energy is more beautifully or enjoyably spent than growing in a loving relationship with a God that makes me feel 100 times the person I am without Him.

I know our days can be busy, so here is some practical advice. God is always there and always willing to talk, so make the most of the time you have, when you have it. I love talking to God and spending some time praying in the car when I’m travelling too and from gigs. It’s time I have alone to reflect and, to be honest, the company makes the journeys go much quicker. At Uni I found myself working in the library or coffee shops a lot and I tended to spend my breaks on my phone of ordering another vanilla late, but a friend of mine chose to use that time to be with God, read His Bible and reflect. Needless to say I took inspiration and found it incredibly useful!

I suppose I’ve spent a lot of this blog talking about how I have and haven’t at times connected with God, but not so much that connection itself, how it feels and why I find it so necessary in my life. Well that’s because I really struggled to put into words the difference I feel when I’m really connected with God. It’s like I’m an entirely different person and the way I see things is totally different. So I guess if that’s all I have to say, your just gonna have to find out for yourselves!


So I Haven’t Disappeared… I’ve Just Gone To Uni

Guys, its been a while… It probably seems like I’ve been a little bit absent lately and that’s because I have. But its ok, I haven’t disappeared, I’ve just gone to Uni and that’s what I want to tell you about. I felt like it was time to fill you all in on what’s been going on over the past few months where all has gone quite in the world of Jacob Lloyd… so here it is: the first of a series of fortnightly blog posts to come about things I have loved, loathed, laughed at and learned from at Uni so far…

Topic 1: Church

So for those of you that don’t know, I’m studying theology at Oxford University. I love my course, I’ve made some great friends and I’m part of an incredible church community at St Ebbes church, just a stone throw away from my college, Christ Church. However, this list of positive experiences has not necessarily been there from day one for one simple reason, I didn’t throw myself into church life.

I came to Oxford determined to get involved with the CU and find a great church, but after an overwhelming lack of CU presence in college and a seemingly overwhelming amount of work to do in my first term, I got to a position after about 3 or 4 weeks where I had only been to church once, I hadn’t settled into any kind of routine of regularly receiving scripture and church didn’t feel like a necessity that I was missing out on. This seems strange coming from someone who had grown up going to church week in week out, but I found myself with a worrying lack of urge to get up and head to church on a Sunday morning. I think I convinced myself that studying theology and occasionally going to our college cathedral to read during evensong was enough, but it really wasn’t and for some reason I couldn’t see that. In fact all I could see was a strange environment a long way from home, full of very different people than I was used too and a workload that felt like far more than I could handle. So I missed home, I missed my family, but I what I was really missing was a closeness with God that is very difficult to encounter without a constant refreshing and refilling of His word and His spirit, something that is hard to come by without attending church and being involved in a solid Christian community.

I would love to tell you things changed rapidly after the stresses of first term, but that would be a lie. Unlike most other degrees at Oxford, Theology students do exams in second term and so my workload that I had got used to and realized was far more manageable than I had told myself just got a whole lot bigger. Drastically trying to grasp translations of Biblical Greek, write essays and revise old essays at the same time took up the majority of my week and even though I was coping much better with my schedule, it still didn’t have time for church. I look back now and can’t comprehend what on earth was running through my mind and by what logic I rationalized my seemingly adamant belief that Church was not a necessity. Perhaps it was due to the fact that I was leading evening worship at a church outside of oxford a few times a term, or maybe because I was discussing my faith and entering into heavy theological debates on a regular with friends that somehow convinced me I was doing just fine without a sermon, but it all made no sense at all; because the process of realization that has lead to me throwing absolutely everything I have into church life has been one amazing lesson into just how important church is!

I’m happy to say that I now never miss church, as well as attending mid-week bible studies and I am also a college CU rep, which is amazing, because OICCU is awesome!! The difference I feel is incredible. I’m part of an amazing group of Christian friends; I thoroughly enjoy my time at the many church events that St Ebbes put on throughout the terms here and most importantly, my relationship with God has grown massively! I have found that this term I have been so much happier, a lot less stressed and in everyway it has been more enjoyable. I am fully convinced that all of this is solely down to my commitment to an amazing church, full of amazing people, there to serve an amazing God. Not only do I feel less alone in my faith and my evangelistic mission as a Christian, but also my spiritual life has burst into something far beyond my expectations. Studying the bible with friends, gaining insight into different interpretations of scripture and praying together as a church family are such essential things that you just can’t do when reading and praying alone. My love for the written word of God has just taken on a whole new level and I have found that my prayers are far less selfish and focused on others, just as I know I am constantly covered in prayer. In short, throwing myself into church has changed my experience of University totally and helped me fall deeper in love with the God that put me here.

So guys, wherever you are in the world and wherever you are in your walk with Christ, don’t underestimate the importance and the amazing power of Church. Church has changed my life more than once… but that story is for another day.

So I haven’t disappeared, I’ve just gone to Uni.